torn apart.

I thought I was in pain before.

I was wrong.

I have never hurt like this before.

There's this searing pain in my chest. It's like I've been completely torn apart, inside and out.

One of my biggest fears came to life today.

I've always been afraid that I would never compare to my friends. I was afraid that now matter how hard I tried, people would pick my friends over me because they're prettier and smarter and more fun to be around.

I was right.

I knew from the second that Josh and Sharon started that it would be a problem.

Once they started talking, he stopped talking to me.

A month later I'm being dumped because he had fallen for someone else. I didn't think about it until now. It was her. I wasn't good enough so he moved on to my friend.

And he obviously cared a lot more about her than he ever did about me. He bitched and argued with me over it, something I know he would have never done for me.

The worst part? Even after this I still love him. He could do anything and everything to hurt me and I would still love him.

But I don't ever want to hear from him again. Or her.

I don't give a shit about either one of them right now.

I didn't need this. I didn't need another reason to add to the list.

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