answers aren't that easy

I always thought that if I had a boyfriend I would be happy.

I was wrong.

By some weird miracle, I got my first boyfriend a month ago. The downside is that we never see each other. He doesn't have a license and I'm not allowed to drive the thirty minutes to Mississippi. So we have to rely on instant messages and telephones. It didn't bother me for the first month. It was all fine. We talked almost every day.

Now it's not like that.

He rarely responds to instant messages and when I call he's never there to answer.

I thought that maybe he was going to break up with me. It seemed like the logical answer. But when I told him that I thought he was losing interest he just told me he loved me.

And that just left me with more confusing thoughts and bad feelings.

I'm not happy like I thought I'd be.

I'm actually more unhappy and alone than I was before all of this.

Some think I should break up with him, but I won't do it. There's a chance that things could work out right.

This is an annoying, confusing situation, but I've learned something.

Just because you think something will make you happy, doesn't mean it will.

But maybe it's just a temporary thing?

Maybe.

I hope so.