Ridiculous.

It's becoming more and more apparent to me that beauty decides everything.

In my case, it decides how your friends treat you.

For the past three years I've noticed that in my group of friends people only really care about the pretty ones. If you aren't pretty, like me, people really don't care as much.

I hate that.

I treat all my friends the same. I love them all the same. I care about them all the same because they all mean the world to me.

But I don't to them.

Because I'm not as pretty.

I'm fat and unattractive so the rules are different.

It's ridiculous really.

Beauty should NOT determine how people are treated. A person's character should. But no one really cares about that these days.

It's a shame.

Not Enough.

I really don't write on this blog enough.

At one point I had all these things to say on here, but I never posted them. I didn't see the point. No one really reads this anyway right?

I'm pretty much just typing away and talking to nothing but empty space.

But then I remembered why I wanted a blog in the first place.

It's for me. It doesn't really matter if anyone else is reading this because I'm getting the thoughts that clog my brain out into the world.

I have a feeling I'm going to start doing this a lot more often.

The future.

I'm sitting in bed right now.

I had this thought and for some reason I just felt the need to put it out there.

I honestly have no idea what my future holds for me. I'm eighteen, about to graduate from high school and I still have no clue exactly what I want to do with my life.

All I know is that whatever path I take, I want to end up living in New York, the big apple. I want to have a small apartment and wake up on Saturday mornings to the sound of car horns and people talking. I want to wake up on those Saturdays and drink coffee and write in my blog, just like I'm doing now.

I honestly don't know why, but that's what I want.