tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37212848642619153232024-03-08T06:23:50.792-06:00One Step CloserdaisyELECTRIChttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11599900573295944954noreply@blogger.comBlogger16125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3721284864261915323.post-576263466243137202010-08-24T01:26:00.004-05:002010-08-24T01:30:24.266-05:00Ridiculous.It's becoming more and more apparent to me that beauty decides everything.<div><br /></div><div>In my case, it decides how your friends treat you.</div><div><br /></div><div>For the past three years I've noticed that in my group of friends people only really care about the pretty ones. If you aren't pretty, like me, people really don't care as much.</div><div><br /></div><div>I hate that.</div><div><br /></div><div>I treat all my friends the same. I love them all the same. I care about them all the same because they all mean the world to me.</div><div><br /></div><div>But I don't to them. </div><div><br /></div><div>Because I'm not as pretty.</div><div><br /></div><div>I'm fat and unattractive so the rules are different.</div><div><br /></div><div>It's ridiculous really.</div><div><br /></div><div>Beauty should NOT determine how people are treated. A person's character should. But no one really cares about that these days.</div><div><br /></div><div>It's a shame.</div>daisyELECTRIChttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11599900573295944954noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3721284864261915323.post-66320796669761173432010-08-04T11:14:00.000-05:002010-08-04T11:17:53.987-05:00Not Enough.I really don't write on this blog enough.<br /><br />At one point I had all these things to say on here, but I never posted them. I didn't see the point. No one really reads this anyway right?<br /><br />I'm pretty much just typing away and talking to nothing but empty space.<br /><br />But then I remembered why I wanted a blog in the first place.<br /><br />It's for me. It doesn't really matter if anyone else is reading this because I'm getting the thoughts that clog my brain out into the world.<br /><br />I have a feeling I'm going to start doing this a lot more often.daisyELECTRIChttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11599900573295944954noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3721284864261915323.post-3541578635925411812010-03-24T10:10:00.002-05:002010-03-24T10:14:06.477-05:00The future.I'm sitting in bed right now.<br /><br />I had this thought and for some reason I just felt the need to put it out there.<br /><br />I honestly have no idea what my future holds for me. I'm eighteen, about to graduate from high school and I still have no clue exactly what I want to do with my life.<br /><br />All I know is that whatever path I take, I want to end up living in New York, the big apple. I want to have a small apartment and wake up on Saturday mornings to the sound of car horns and people talking. I want to wake up on those Saturdays and drink coffee and write in my blog, just like I'm doing now.<br /><br />I honestly don't know why, but that's what I want.daisyELECTRIChttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11599900573295944954noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3721284864261915323.post-67060147256492874242009-12-13T21:45:00.003-06:002009-12-13T22:16:25.954-06:00torn apart.I thought I was in pain before.<br /><br />I was wrong.<br /><br />I have never hurt like this before.<br /><br />There's this searing pain in my chest. It's like I've been completely torn apart, inside and out.<br /><br />One of my biggest fears came to life today.<br /><br />I've always been afraid that I would never compare to my friends. I was afraid that now matter how hard I tried, people would pick my friends over me because they're prettier and smarter and more fun to be around.<br /><br />I was right.<br /><br />I knew from the second that Josh and Sharon started that it would be a problem.<br /><br />Once they started talking, he stopped talking to me.<br /><br />A month later I'm being dumped because he had fallen for someone else. I didn't think about it until now. It was her. I wasn't good enough so he moved on to my friend.<br /><br />And he obviously cared a lot more about her than he ever did about me. He bitched and argued with me over it, something I know he would have never done for me.<br /><br />The worst part? Even after this I still love him. He could do anything and everything to hurt me and I would still love him.<br /><br />But I don't ever want to hear from him again. Or her.<br /><br />I don't give a shit about either one of them right now.<br /><br /><br />I didn't need this. I didn't need another reason to add to the list.daisyELECTRIChttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11599900573295944954noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3721284864261915323.post-79104251480268911042009-12-07T17:56:00.004-06:002009-12-07T18:19:06.974-06:00insanity.I hate this. I hate all of it.<br /><br />I'm depressed and alone and constantly angry.<br /><br />I'm sick of faking happy for everyone.<br /><br />I'm not happy.<br /><br />You wouldn't be either if you were in this position.<br /><br />My heart was ripped out of my chest by the one person who was supposed to love me. And I can't get over him. Being surrounded by couples and happiness doesn't really help me feel any better. I'm also sick of people saying "everything will be okay" and "you'll get over it in time". Oh and my personal favorite: "he just didn't realize what he had". That's a bunch of bullshit. Nothing will be okay. I won't get over it. And He didn't really have anything. I'm a terrible catch. If anything, he realized who he was dating and wanted out as fast as possible.<br /><br />Since I don't go to regular school, I'm stuck in my house 6 out of 7 days a week. To some people that just sounds boring. For me it's worse. There isn't one person in this house who wants me around. And none of them really care about me. All I get to hear all day long is how much of a screw up I am and how I'll never amount to anything. Then my mother and grandmother gang up on me and tell me how fat and ugly I am and that Josh would have stayed with me if I had been pretty, skinny, and feminine. Then of course there are the days that my family decides to <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">criticize</span> my friends. That's something I can not stand. My friends are my real family. I don't particularly like when they are insulted. Then there are the days that I get told I should just go kill myself already and get it over with.<br /><br />So no. I'm not <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">happy</span>. And I'm not okay.<br /><br />I'm slowly going insane. And the one person who could help me fucked me over.<br /><br />I have an awful feeling I'm going to end up in Lakeside.daisyELECTRIChttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11599900573295944954noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3721284864261915323.post-56871241194900764022009-11-03T01:29:00.002-06:002009-11-03T01:35:22.711-06:00Broken.My so-called boyfriend broke up with me. He wants to be friends.<br /><br />That was his original story.<br /><br />Real version?<br /><br />He's fallen for someone else. But he still thinks I'm "an amazing girl". And he wants us to have a second chance. He still has feelings for me. He even said "I love you".<br /><br />I think it's a load of bull.<br /><br />I know what he's really thinking. I'm not good enough.<br /><br />I know I'm not. I'm not thin enough. Or pretty enough. Or talkative enough. And I won't have sex. I also don't live as close as she does to him.<br /><br />I feel so broken.<br /><br />Most people will say "get over it" or "its no big deal". But it is.<br /><br />He was my first boyfriend and he was the reason I was happy for the first time in ten years. He even asked me to marry him.<br /><br />Now all of that's gone.<br /><br />I really don't have anything to live for anymore.daisyELECTRIChttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11599900573295944954noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3721284864261915323.post-31298408108917477782009-10-03T23:08:00.003-05:002009-10-03T23:16:08.785-05:00HackedMy blog got hacked.<br /><br />Yes it happens.<br /><br />I was really pissed to find this out tonight.<br /><br />You just don't do that.<br /><br />First off, why hack my blog? Do you really have no life? Don't you have something better you could be doing with your time? And if you don't then get a hobby (one that does not involve the use of a computer would be good).<br /><br />Second: If you had hacked and wrote stupid crap about me, I wouldn't have cared. But you didn't. You wrote evil ass shit about my friend. You hurt her. Messing with my friends is NOT an okay thing to do. They all mean the world to me and when you hurt them........just........NO. She didn't deserve that. No one does.<br /><br />From now on, I'm checking this thing at least twice a week and my password is going to be different every fucking month.<br /><br />If I get hacked again after this, I'm deleting my blog entirely. I don't need this crap happening.daisyELECTRIChttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11599900573295944954noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3721284864261915323.post-65991794574598542662009-08-02T22:20:00.002-05:002009-08-02T22:25:41.642-05:00Green Day/Nashville - 7.31.09Friday had to seriously be the best day of my life. I know I’ve said that before, but this time I really mean it.<br /><br />Laken and I left for Nashville early Friday morning. Laken drove to Jackson, where we stopped at Taco Bell for food (aren’t we cool?). Her mom drove the rest of the way to Nashville.<br /><br />Laken & me + hyperness + music + long car ride = sing alongs with dancing.<br /><br />Seriously, we sang and made up dance moves to the songs we were listening to. I think there was even a discussion about My Chemical Romance sing along CDs for kids (you know you would want one). We were listening to <em>Teenagers</em>. We struck violent poses that weren’t very intimidating.<br /><br />Once in “Nash-Vegas” (why do they call it that?) we went to the Sommet Center to get the tickets from Will Call. The Green Day tour bus was parked out front. It was GORGEOUS. We took our pictures with it because that’s just how hard we roll. And holding a ticket to a Green Day concert in your hand is the best feeling on earth. I don’t care how many people say sex feels great. This feels way better.<br /><br />After that we went to Opry Mills. That mall is just…….awesome. Seriously. Everything you could possibly want exists in that mall. Downside is that walking to your favorite store takes a lot of energy. Laken and I went to Barnes & Noble (bought two books), Hot Topic (Green Day shirt and All Time Low CD), Spencers, and Journeys (GD shirt).<br /><br />When we were walking to……somewhere Laken said something and my response was “oh Jesus of Suburbia” and then Laken, being her awesome self, started singing. Some random black guy came up to us and told Laken I was “preaching to her”. It was weird.<br /><br />When we were in Journeys we met this really kickass girl who worked there. She was really nice and had a lot of cool things to say about HIM and Green Day and some other bands. She talked me into buying another Green Day shirt (Spin cover). Then Laken bought some really really bright shoes. But there were two pairs and she couldn’t decide. I asked her “What would Pete Wentz do?”. She ended up getting the cool ones. She also got a shirt that says “I’m on a boat”.<br /><br />Laken and I also came up with a really weird high five.<br /><br />We went to the Rainforest Café for dinner. We went to the bathroom and came out talking in weird accents and linking arms. Yes we are cool.<br /><br /><br />That night at Green Day was EPIC.<br /><br />When we got there we didn’t even have to wait ten minutes until the doors started to open. We had floor seats so we got smiley face wristbands. But they desecrated our tickets by marking them with an x (how dare they). Me and Laken hit up the merch table and bought the same GD shirt (we are so cool that we match).<br /><br />Next we headed to the floor. The even staff was being weird so they made us sit down on the floor. It sort of reminded us of music fest. The coolest thing was that we could send texts and pics to a special number and they would appear on the megatron. Laken sent “Laken loves Green Day”. I sent “snap if you love billie joe”. I sent a pic of us, but we never saw it get up there. Some people sent marriage proposals, others about loving their moms. One person sent “I’m only here for Kaiser Chiefs”. Everyone booed.<br /><br />Kaiser Chiefs was up first. No one really seemed to like them that much which was sad. They’re a really good band. They played <em>I Predict a Riot</em>, <em>Never Miss a Beat</em>, <em>Ruby</em>, and some other songs that I honestly don’t remember the name of.<br /><br />I have no idea how long it took for Green Day to take the stage, but once they did everyone was fucking insane. The second I saw Billie Joe Armstrong walk onto that stage, tears started to flow. Seeing him up there, knowing how close I was, remembering how I used to listen to his voice when I was a little kid just made me cry. He’s one of my biggest heroes. Laken cried too. It made me just want to hug her.<br /><br />Green Day played <em>Song of the Century</em>, <em>21 Guns</em>, <em>The Static Age</em>, <em>American Eulogy</em>, <em>21st Century Breakdown</em>, <em>Are We the Waiting</em>, <em>Boulevard of Broken Dreams</em>, <em>East Jesus Nowhere</em>, <em>Holiday</em>, <em>Longview</em>, <em>Welcome to Paradise</em>, <em>Brain Stew/Jaded</em>, <em>Minority</em>, <em>2000 Light Years Away</em>, <em>Before the Lobotomy</em>, <em>St. Jimmy</em>, <em>Jesus of Suburbia</em>, <em>Last Night on Earth</em>, <em>King for a Day/Shout</em>, <em>When I Come Around</em>, <em>She</em>, <em>Dominated Love Slave</em>, <em>Time of Your Life</em>, <em>Blood Sex & Booze</em>, <em>American Idiot</em>, and part of <em>I’ll Be There</em>.<br /><br />That was the longest set I have ever heard. Ever.<br /><br />The first kid he let up on stage was from Memphis. His name was Eric. Billie Joe “saved” him. Damn lucky kid. A couple of other people got up on stage with him.<br /><br />During <em>Longview</em>, BJ had two people from the audience to sing. The first was some guy and the second was a girl named Stevie. BJ made them stage dive off. When he was trying to choose who to bring up on stage a guy said “I’m from Chicago”. Billie Joe told him “I don’t care if you’re from Chicago. You’re in Tennessee now”.<br /><br />When they were about to play <em>Jesus of Suburbia</em>, BJ asked if anyone in the audience knew how to play it. There was a guy in a tie-die shirt that was holding up a sign that said “I play Jesus of Suburbia”. He was seventeen. Billie asked the guy if he was a virgin. The guy said yes. BJ told him he wouldn’t be after that night. He then told him to come on up and then proceeded to say he was “a goofy looking motherfucker”.<br /><br />That guy fucking owned. He played that song perfectly all the way through. That guy fucking killed that shit.<br /><br />Bilie Joe has a hell of a lot of energy. He said “I'm going to stay here all night because I can!”.<br /><br />At one point people helped Laken through the crowd so she could get some water (she looked like she was gonna pass out). It was from Billie Joe’s water bottle.<br /><br />The show also involved a shirt gun, a toilet paper gun, water gun (Laken and I got hit with that shit; it was refreshing), confetti, fire, and explosions.<br /><br />I also learned that BJ and Mike have been friends since the fifth grade. They’ve got a bromance.<br /><br />Laken and I left during Time of Your Life. We walked through the crowd limping slightly and holding hands.<br /><br />When we got back to the hotel we looked like we had died.<br /><br />That night was a total <strong>EPIC WIN</strong>.daisyELECTRIChttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11599900573295944954noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3721284864261915323.post-59385711301424544982009-07-23T22:40:00.002-05:002009-10-03T23:03:34.701-05:00A7X - 3.31.09Chris, Michelle, Brian, Laken, Sarah and I went to the Avenged Sevenfold concert on March 31st. It was ballin’.<br /><br />We got to Minglewood Hall around 4:30 and met up with Sarah. We then headed inside where we had a two-hour wait. It got interesting. We listened to David Bowie, Britney Spears, Blink and a number of other artists/bands and made some new friends. There were a few smoke breaks in there.<br /><br />The doors opened a little after 6:30. We rushed in and headed for the merch table. We all got shirts except for Brian, who bought Michelle one (he can be so nice). We all walked towards the stage. I think we were on the left side. We found out that if enough people tickle Brian at one time he’ll mosh a little.<br /><br />The first band up was Joan Red. There were okay. Not amazing, but not shit either. Their songs weren’t that great, but the band did have an amazing energy. Did I mention that they are recently signed and a local band? I think I’m going to have to give them another chance. Oh and I caught one of their picks!<br /><br />After their set, Laken, Chris, and I made our way to the middle. We wanted to be closer to the pits. While we were waiting for the next band Laken decided she needed to hurt someone. I was the lucky winner. It’s sort of sad because she’s my daughter. She was hitting and twisting stuff. The guys behind us were cheering her on.<br /><br />Rev Theory was next. They’re good, but I don’t really like them live. The only song I know that they played is "Hell Yeah". The name of the song speaks for itself. I got into like one pit during their set. I was attempting to save my energy Avenged Sevenfold.<br /><br />Between Rev Theory and A7X Laken went to go get water and I lost Chris. I stood there awkwardly.<br /><br />Laken was back in time for A7X and we found Christopher behind us.<br /><br />When Avenged took the stage everyone went fucking nuts. I seriously thought I had a heart attack when I saw M. Shadows. They played Critical Acclaim, Dear God, Bat Country, Beast and the Harlot, Afterlife, Scream, Chapter Four, Almost Easy, Unholy Confessions, and Gunslinger. They closed with A Little Piece of Heaven. At one point some girl threw down in a pit and M. Shadows invited her up on stage. He told the audience that she had just kicked a bunch of guys’ asses. Before she got up there, I totally thought it was Laken. The girl wanted them to sing Scream again. I think she should have requested Walk. I didn’t get into any pits during Avenged. I got a great video of one of Syn’s guitar solos. It was………just WOW! I had the perfect view of M. Shadows and I did not want to lose that. Plus, I was close to Chris, which was definitely a good thing at that point. There was a hell of a lot of shoving, pushing, kicking, and scratching. This one girl fucking clawed my boobs. WTF?! I also blacked out like 5 times. I caught one of Zacky’s picks. That made my night. Chris caught one too.<br /><br />On the way out of there I had to hold on to Chris. I saw Taylor there. That sort of ruined my night a little.<br /><br />The walk back to Chris’s car was interesting. There were two cop cars. One was behind a red car. I heard the phrase "red car, turn your lights on" a hundred times. The other cop car was in the middle of the road facing a white Yukon. "What are you doing in the middle of an intersection? Drive!".<br /><br />In the car, my voice went out and I called Synyster cinnamon because I was really tired.<br /><br />It was the best concert I’ve been to in a while.daisyELECTRIChttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11599900573295944954noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3721284864261915323.post-90736776524387429462009-07-23T19:39:00.004-05:002009-07-23T22:43:14.745-05:00answers aren't that easyI always thought that if I had a boyfriend I would be happy.<br /><br />I was wrong.<br /><br />By some weird miracle, I got my first boyfriend a month ago. The downside is that we never see each other. He doesn't have a license and I'm not allowed to drive the thirty minutes to Mississippi. So we have to rely on instant messages and telephones. It didn't bother me for the first month. It was all fine. We talked almost every day.<br /><br />Now it's not like that.<br /><br />He rarely responds to instant messages and when I call he's never there to answer.<br /><br />I thought that maybe he was going to break up with me. It seemed like the logical answer. But when I told him that I thought he was losing interest he just told me he loved me.<br /><br />And that just left me with more confusing thoughts and bad feelings.<br /><br />I'm not happy like I thought I'd be.<br /><br />I'm actually more unhappy and alone than I was before all of this.<br /><br />Some think I should break up with him, but I won't do it. There's a chance that things could work out right.<br /><br />This is an annoying, confusing situation, but I've learned something.<br /><br />Just because you think something will make you happy, doesn't mean it will.<br /><br />But maybe it's just a temporary thing?<br /><br />Maybe.<br /><br />I hope so.daisyELECTRIChttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11599900573295944954noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3721284864261915323.post-54968532657888710392009-01-06T20:08:00.004-06:002009-07-23T22:44:06.411-05:00New Year.It's the New Year.<br /><br />I wanted to start off with a clean slate and a good attitude.<br /><br />That didn't happen.<br /><br />Things from last year are haunting me and my attitude is shit.<br /><br />I just feel like I'm falling. I'm falling into this black hole, but I'm not hitting bottom. I just keep falling. It never stops. And I'm afraid for the bottom to come. Because that means it's all over. And the last time that happened I ended up with 30 pills in my stomach.<br /><br />I just want things to change. But I don't know how to change them.<br /><br />And I'm running out of time. And I'm running out of hope. And I'm running out of heart.daisyELECTRIChttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11599900573295944954noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3721284864261915323.post-78823633630998745582008-11-29T22:56:00.000-06:002008-11-29T22:57:54.929-06:00concert last night.Goodbye Monroe and Hollywood Undead were FUCKING BADASS<br /><br />Laken and I got to the New Daisy a little before six, so we had to wait for over and hour. We pretty much just stood outside and acted like the retards we are. We saw Alex (one of Sarah’s friends) there. Man, I love that guy. He is fucking awesome.<br /><br />When the doors opened we went in and got near the second little section (if you’ve been there you know what I’m talking about). A bunch of hot guys were walking around us. These really cool guys were standing right next to us.<br /><br />Laken and I bought a Hollywood Undead hat. She put it on and I totally thought she was going to rob a sonic. Can you say gangsta ninja?<br /><br />Goodbye Monroe came on and not many people knew who they were. The band was really good though. A couple of circle pits broke out. When they told us to sing along the guys behind us said “no one knows the words”. It was pretty funny at the time. It was Evan’s (bass) birthday and he gave a present to someone in the crowd. When they announced their last song a ton of people cheered. Not may people were excited for them.<br /><br />In between sets Laken and I climbed under the rail and got on the main floor. The anticipation was ridiculous. I was bouncing up and down. I just couldn’t stand still (too many meds).<br /><br />When Hollywood Undead finally took the stage everyone went insane. I can barely remember the songs they played, but I know they played “Undead”, “Pimpin’”, “California”, “No. 5”, and “Everywhere I Go” (reminds us of school). Their whole set was filled with mosh pits. It was like the best thing ever. Laken got pushed down so many fucking times. Tons of guys were giving her high fives and fist bumps. I got knocked down about five times. At one point like twenty people fell on each other. It hurt like a bitch, but it was so worth it. Hot guys helped me up. When Laken left to get water, all hell broke loose. It was punched in the face, kicked in the butt/back, punched in the boob, thrown all the way across the pit. A hot guy’s head landed on my boobs. I fell and blacked out too. I saw one too many pairs of boobs last night, if you catch my flow. Laken earned a lot of respect in the pit.<br /><br />I am now tired, sore, and have about fifty bruises everywhere. It was worth it though.<br /><br /> And I officially love Deuce and Johnny 3 Tears.daisyELECTRIChttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11599900573295944954noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3721284864261915323.post-67739857589341096162008-08-08T00:49:00.003-05:002008-08-08T02:54:12.256-05:00Paramore ConcertPaper Route, Phantom Planet, Jack's Mannequin, and Paramore were <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 102, 102);">AFUCKINGMAZING</span></span>!!!!!!!!!!!!<div><br /></div><div>Actutally, Paper Route wasn't that great, but that's okay.</div><div><br /></div><div>Anyway....</div><div><br /></div><div>We got there an hour before the gates opened, but we were really close to the front of the line so it was totally worth it.</div><div><br /></div><div>There was this guy, blue shirt dude, he was really annoying but very entertaining. He made all of these evil ass comments about Twilight fans and he kept flipping his hair. We saw him everywhere. I'm not even kidding. He was in the car behind us one the way downtown, he was in front of us in line, and he was near us in the amphitheater. Then there were these "gangster" type guys. They just kept making fun of the people around them.</div><div><br /></div><div>Jennifer and I sent Cliff (adorable sweetheart) to the front so he could get us seats up front. When we got in he had 3rd row seats, but there weren't enough for all of us so we went to the 7th row. While we waited for the concert to start we just sort of sat there. We didn't really talk much. Laura, Grace and Sarah got there around seven, like right before the concert started. There was a guy behind me who kept poking at me and making rawring noises. I made some back.</div><div><br /></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 102, 102);">Paper Route</span></span> was up first. They're an okay band, but they didn't play any of their good songs. Actually, they only have one good song (in my opinion). They only song I can remember them playing was <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(153, 0, 0);">"Are We All Forgotten"</span></span>. The crowd wasn't really enthused during their set. They would ask if we were having fun and we replied with a low "woo". It was quite sad really.</div><div><br /></div><div>After there set, we just sat there. There really wasn't anything to do. Paper Route was doing a signing, but I didn't think it was worth it.</div><div><br /></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 102, 102);">Phantom Planet</span></span> came on next and I seriously think I flipped out like a teeny bopper. Alex is fucking hot. Their set blew my mind away. They played <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(153, 0, 0);">"Do the Panic"</span></span>, <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(153, 0, 0);">"Dropped"</span></span>, <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(153, 0, 0);">"Leave Yourself For Somebody Else"</span>, <span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(153, 0, 0);">"Big Brat"</span>, </span>and <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(153, 0, 0);">"California"</span>.</span> Alex was being fucking hilarious. He said that we were awesome people from Radsville also known as Memphis. He had us do the wave a couple of times. He thought it needed to be done at concerts more often. After the second wave he said "Dude, if the beach was made out of people...that's all I'm saying". I seriously think I love the guy. During <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(153, 0, 0);">"Big Brat"</span></span> he came out into the the audience and went to the middle section. I am so jealous of the girls he was standing in front of. Two of the guys from Paper Route came out and played some drums during the song.</div><div><br /></div><div>Phantom did a signing, but I left to go back to my seat before I could get my ticket signed. Jennifer got her skirt signed. I am so fucking jealous.</div><div><br /></div><div>We ran into Elizabeth and Rachel. And then Alexa. I saw Zach's sisters on the way to the signing. They were screaming out my name, but I didn't realize it because I was deaf by that point.</div><div><br /></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 102, 102);">Jack's Mannequin</span></span> was up next. I missed the first two songs, but they were <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(153, 0, 0);">"I'm Ready"</span></span>, <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(153, 0, 0);">"Bruised"</span></span>,<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;"> </span>and <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(153, 0, 0);">"La La Lie"</span>. </span>I've seen JM before, but it was so much better this time. Andrew was giving off this wonderful energy and the crowd was responding back with twice as much. Feeling the music pulsing through me was great. The band also played <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(153, 0, 0);">"Dark Blue"</span></span>, <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(153, 0, 0);">"Kill the Messenger"</span></span>, <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(153, 0, 0);">"Swim"</span></span> (on their upcoming album), <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(153, 0, 0);">"The Mixed Tape"</span></span>, and <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(153, 0, 0);">"Made For Each Other"</span></span>.<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 0, 0);"> I don't think I will ever be able to get over how beautifully Andrew plays the piano. </span></span></span></div><div><br /></div><div>After that set I was pretty drained so I got Cliff to get me something to drink. I bought him a drink too. It was the least I could do. We sat there and pretty much chugged our drinks. This guy, he looked to be in his forties, sat down next to Cliff. I'm going to call him suspenders man. He was pretty chill. Funny too. People kept giving off false alarms of seeing Hayley Williams after the first "Hayley sighting". It really got on our nerves. Every time people screamed they would get our hopes up and then crush them.</div><div><br /></div><div>When <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 102, 102);">Paramore</span></span> finally took the stage, I'm pretty sure I had a heart attack. I was so jazzed. They had this new guy with him. I couldn't hear his name because of all of the screaming, but he's radtasmical. His hair even rivals Ray Toro's. Yeah, it's that insane. Paramore started off with <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(153, 0, 0);">"Born For This"</span></span> and every single person sang along, even suspenders man. I don't remember the order of the songs after that, but I know they played <span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(153, 0, 0);"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">"Here We Go Again"</span></span>, <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(153, 0, 0);">"That's What You Get"</span></span>, <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(153, 0, 0);">"Emergency"</span></span>, <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(153, 0, 0);">"Pressure"</span></span>, <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(153, 0, 0);">"My Heart"</span></span> (this song went out to the LJ community; they'd been requesting it), <span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(153, 0, 0);"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">"We Are Broken"</span></span>, <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(153, 0, 0);">"Misery Business"</span></span>, <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(153, 0, 0);">"Let the Flames Begin"</span></span>, <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(153, 0, 0);">"For a Pessimist I'm Pretty Optimistic"</span></span>, <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(153, 0, 0);">"crushcrushcrush"</span></span>, <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(153, 0, 0);">"Fences"</span></span>, <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(153, 0, 0);">"Decoy"</span></span>, <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(153, 0, 0);">"When It Rains"</span></span>, and <span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(153, 0, 0);"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">"Hallelujah"</span></span>. The beginning of <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(153, 0, 0);">"Hallelujah"</span></span> was really different, but amazing because everyone knew the words even though it wasn't a part of the actual song. Before playing <span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(153, 0, 0);"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">"We Are Broken"</span></span>, Hayley talked about Love146 and how they had designed a Hurley hoodie that you could buy and a large portion of the proceeds go to Love146. I suggest everyone check out <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 0, 0);">love146.org</span></span></span>. It's really worth it. During one song, Jeremy did a sort of flip thing over Josh's back. It was awesome. The last song was <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(153, 0, 0);">"Misery Business"</span></span>. If you've heard of Paramore I don't really need to say anything more about that song. </div><div><br /></div><div>There was this girl in front of us who kept dancing on the chairs and trying to "rock out". Everyone got annoyed at her because she was in the way. There was a girl with blue shirt dude who kept throwing up the heart sign, which worked perfectly when I got a video of <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(153, 0, 0);">"My Heart"</span></span>. Memphis Tigers fan guy kept looking back at me. It was odd.</div><div><br /></div><div>When the concert was over we high tailed it out of there. Jennifer and I were so tired. We ran into Jay and Walker and Cliff found a pretty headband.</div><div><br /></div><div>Jennifer is spending the night and is actually curled up in a sleeping bag behind me right now.</div><div><br /></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 102, 102);">The night was FANTASMICAL and I hope I never forget it.</span></span></div><div><br /></div><div>Pics and videos to post later.</div>daisyELECTRIChttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11599900573295944954noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3721284864261915323.post-5633572486272373552008-07-19T22:28:00.003-05:002008-07-19T22:32:26.103-05:00Nothing of Importance<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(51, 51, 51);">Sorry I didn't post last night.</span></span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(51, 51, 51);"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(51, 51, 51);">I went to go see</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(51, 51, 51);"> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(153, 0, 0);">The Dark Knigh</span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(153, 0, 0);">t</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(51, 51, 51);">.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(51, 51, 51);"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(51, 51, 51);">It was phenomenal.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(51, 51, 51);"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(51, 51, 51);">Heath Ledger's performance was amazing.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(51, 51, 51);"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(51, 51, 51);">I really believed he was crazy.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(51, 51, 51);"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(51, 51, 51);">Maybe it made him crazy.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(51, 51, 51);"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(51, 51, 51);">Who knows?</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(51, 51, 51);"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(51, 51, 51);">Anyway, I don't really have much to say.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(51, 51, 51);"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(51, 51, 51);">My baby gets ungrounded in 13 days and we're going to go to the </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(153, 0, 0);">Breaking Dawn</span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(153, 0, 0);"> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(51, 51, 51);">release party with her sister and her friends. I'm making shirts too.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(51, 51, 51);"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(51, 51, 51);">I'm a dork.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(51, 51, 51);"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(51, 51, 51);">A perverted, lovable, strange dork.</span></span></div>daisyELECTRIChttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11599900573295944954noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3721284864261915323.post-42843417167286134272008-07-11T22:53:00.002-05:002008-07-18T00:04:41.841-05:00Faith? Where'd you go?<span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">The world is a scary place.</span></span></span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">Murders, global warming, robbery, sex, terrorism, war, death.</span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">It's all out there.</span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">I hate to admit it, but...</span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 102, 102);">I'm scared.</span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">I'm afraid of what will happen to this world.</span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">I'm afraid of what will happen to my friends.</span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">I'm afraid of what will happen to my family.</span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">I'm afraid of what will happen to me.</span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">I've been thinking a lot lately and I really want to restore my faith in God.</span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">I don't know when I lost that faith, but I did.</span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">Somewhere along the line the world changed me and I lost my ability to believe.</span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">I want to believe again. </span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">I want to believe in God again.</span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">But I don't know how to do it.</span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(153, 0, 0);">How do you restore your faith when you're a sceptic?</span></span></span></span></div>daisyELECTRIChttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11599900573295944954noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3721284864261915323.post-67962682550164847042008-07-09T00:43:00.003-05:002008-07-18T00:02:32.047-05:00A Fresh Start.<span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">I got a new blog because I thought it was time for a fresh start.</span></span></span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">I need to change things. Change the way I think, the way I see things.</span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">I thought this would help.</span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">My blog title just came to me.</span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 102, 102);"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">One Step Closer.</span></span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">One step closer to sanity.</span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">One step closer to faith.</span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">One step closer to being a good person.</span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">Every entry is a step closer.</span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">It may not make sense, but I don't really expect it to.</span></span></span></div>daisyELECTRIChttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11599900573295944954noreply@blogger.com0